Looks Like Daddy And….
Today I took my girls ages 5 and 6 to Dunkin Donuts and then
to Vanderbilt Mansion to enjoy the morning and allow me time drink my coffee
and embrace the day. At the drive through, my younger daughter asked for a donut
and a sandwich. I asked my older daughter what she wanted besides her donut. I
said that hot cocoa would be too much sugar with the donut, so she would need
to choose something else. She chose hot tea. I know exactly where the idea of
drinking tea originated. My husband and I are avid coffee drinkers and only
drink tea when we feel ill. I think we have had the same box of tea bags for
the last 6 years.
So where did this desire to drink tea come from? It
originated in the office of the director of social work at the Hudson Valley
campus of Adelphi University. My daughter, Serena has seen Director Ohiro
Oni-Eseleh about half a dozen times. She is quite fond of him. When she sees
him, she hugs him like a favorite uncle. Her last visit with the director was a
couple of weeks ago and lasted less than 10 minutes. I had set a time with the director to bring
the girls by because Serena was asking to visit him. We refer to him as
Professor Ohiro as it is easier to pronounce. As always, he was kind, asked
about school with genuine interest, and gave them short bread cookies from
London (if he keeps providing cookies then my younger daughter, Abby may
develop a fondness for him as well). He asked if they drank tea, to which they
outed me by explaining they do not drink tea but mommy lets them drink coffee.
Professor Ohiro responded with saying he is not old enough to drink coffee but
he drinks tea (gee thanks). So, two weeks later my daughter wants tea, it seems
like a very loose connection I agree.
However, after we got back into the car from our morning
walk through Vanderbilt, Serena asks “when are we going to visit Ohiro again?”
I replied with I am not sure, then I asked why she likes him. She responded
with “He looks like daddy and…” She elaborated that he has the same skin tone
as daddy but could not explain what else she found so appealing about him. I
think I know the answer. He looks like
daddy and he is successful. He looks like daddy and always makes time to stop
and greet me. I began thinking about how many men does she know that look
like daddy… not many. I have not seen any black men teaching in her school. My
husband’s relatives do not live nearby so she has not seen them in years. We
have a couple of black neighbors, who acknowledge us when we see them but do
not greet her.
There are positive examples of black men on television and
in the media, most prominent being president Obama. However, Professor Ohiro is
the only positive male black role model that she can hug aside from her daddy.
I guess that answers why she is so enthusiastic when greeting him. I am struck
by how significant such a casual relationship is to my daughter. I am also
concerned, as I graduate this spring and I am unsure of the direction my family
will move in, how will I provide experiences and role models that she craves?
